Sunday, December 19, 2010


Ok...the moment you've been waiting for? Ok maybe not. But I hope after reading all of these you will have a better understanding of my animal phobias. Or maybe I just made myself look like a crazy...Oh well. This is real.

FISH—this includes every type.  Some of the scariest that I know exist are gold ones and beta ones.  I’ve had lots of scary moments when I don’t know they’re there for example like in restaurants and stuff and then I see them and almost die.  I don’t know why I am so afraid of these. I just am. I don't really have a tramatizing experience with these I just really do not like them. I also have had lots of my crazy dreams with these in them. And for some weird reason my dad is always the one either throwing them on me or making me look at them.

 BIRDS…shall we go into more detail?
a. SEAGULLS—I’ve had many torturous encounters with these nasts.  Account #1-Visiting the beach, eating a delicious sandwich, avoiding the birds at all costs when BAM...Chanel throws bread all around me and they come swarming at me.  Really Chanel?  Account #2-Visiting Seattle, parents wanted to grab food from this fish place, thought of the brilliant idea to eat it on the pier, you know, surrounded by a billion seagulls, NO THANKS.  So I make Cami come sit with me inside this little “green house” sort of glass building so we can be safe from the seagulls right?  Think again…BAM…one comes darting right across my face! Seriously. I of course screamed, ran outside, and began to cry.  To make matters worse, throughout the process of me being attacked, I managed to get freakin tartar sauce all over my sleeve from the table.  Really?  Really. 
b. DUCKS—Seriously what is the purpose of these animals?  To sit near Candace’s apartment every day of her life in order to almost make her late to catch the stupid idiot bus to college because she has to go out of her way to avoid being close to it?  Or maybe it’s to hide in the bushes and jump our right as Candace passes, giving her a heart attack?  Maybe it’s to sit randomly on campus on Candace’s path that she takes every day so that she will have to cross the road and take an inconvenient route?  Hmm…Its sole purpose in life has got to be to make Candace’s life miserable. 
c. PIGEONS—I can hardly look at these nasty birds.  They disgust me.  They’re all over the sidewalks when we go to the beach.  I have to get my little cousin to run at them so they will leave.  I think I would have a freak out if they attacked me.  Home Alone 2=Death. Imagine being 3 feet away from one that has 2 legs but only 1 foot and it is headed right for you. Sick.
d. LITTLE BIRDS in general—these are everywhere!  And seriously they always are attacking me.  Ok so when I say attack I don’t mean physically touch me but I do mean fly right at me almost touching me.  These attacks frequently happen when I’m alone, leaving me a prime victim for these freaks and no one to save me.  I went to the mall a few weeks ago, walked to the front doors to find them guarded by the little idiots.  I tried stomping my feet to scare them, yelling at them, but NO they just sit there hobbling around.  It took great strategy on my part to finally find a way inside.  Lots of attacks occur in parking lots.  They fly out from under cars almost killing me.  LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY
e. CHICKENS/ROOSTERS/TURKEYS/—Oh my gosh these are the sickest looking birds I’ve ever seen.  At my grandparents there are turkeys on the road all the time and they are gross.  Get a life and go away.  Chickens are freakin crazy.  I won’t go near them. 
f. Ok pretty much any type of “bird” I don’t ever want to go near in my life.  Especially PENGUINS.  I forgot about those.  Watch the movie March of the Penguins and you will understand why.  I am scarred for life. 

Friday, December 17, 2010


a. FROGS—I haven’t had any traumatic experiences with these but they probably are as scary as my #1 & 2 which I will get to on my next post. Don’t know why.  They just are nast and I can’t look at them because they gross me out.  I guess I have no legit reason except they freak me out.
b. LIZARDS—EW.  That is all.  For some reason I have these frequently occurring nightmares about lizards.  They usually are running around all over the floors, crawling up my legs.  My recent nightmare consisted of my dad throwing one on me and it crawling up my neck and being stuck there while I freak out in pure terror.  Then I wake up and think it’s still there. AHH it’s the worst. 

 RODENTS—these include but are not limited to: mice, gerbils, hamsters, etc.)
a. 2 stories--#1-Back in the day when I was super brave and gerbils were cool and everyone had them, I made my mom buy me a gerbil.  Big mistake.  At first it was fun, you know, getting woken up by some freak noise and then realizing it’s your gerbil taking a 3 am run on its wheel; having it escape in the night not knowing and then have your mom storm in, flip on the lights and throw the gerbil on you while asleep, resulting in the gerbil running free under my bed and me being scared for my life.  So many great memories.  At some point we had 2 gerbils, you know to give it a friend.  Seriously?  Well of course it was a boy and girl and of course they wanted babies.  My favorite memory was when we were desperate to get rid of them and my dad put the cage (with them in it) outside in the snow overnight.  What’s even better is that the next day he brought them in and they were still alive!  Shivering, fighting for their lives.  They just wouldn’t die.  So we gave them to our neighbors finally and made them deal with the delivery of the baby gerbs.  Never again.  #2-I attended a ward Christmas party expecting fun, laughter, and cheer.  To my surprise I walked out of there with hatred, tears, and thoughts of revenge.  I participated in a white elephant exchange.  Fun right?  Wrong.  It was my turn.  I chose one that said “fragile, do not shake.”  Not gonna lie, I was very interested.  I began opening and immediately stopped when I saw a familiar sign of death: the top of a cage.  I knew it was an animal and I was not willing to find out what.  So I put it down forcing my roomy to finish the unveiling.  It was just 2 mice.  NBD.  I ran out of the room trying to calm down after putting my life in critical danger.  Never again will I be curious about fragile packages. 

Thursday, December 16, 2010


I've decided to do a little something to expand on why I am so afraid of certain animals. Ok I am basically afraid of ALL animals except cats, monkeys, horses, and squirrels. But I have legit reasons as to why I am afraid of them. This is something I did a while ago so I thought I would post a couple a day considering my list and explanations are about 3 pages long. I have sorted them into 6 categories and breakdowns within. I will start with the "least" scary, but really they are all about the same except the top 2. So for today it is:

a. Ok what even are bats?  So at my grandparent’s house, bats come out at night.  Once dark hits we book it inside to avoid the swarm of bats.  Well one night we were upstairs about to go to bed when all of a sudden I hear my mom scream and call my name frantically.  So being the hero that I am, what do I immediately do?  Run into the bathroom and shut the door!  Once the door is securely closed I then yell back to ask what is wrong.  Come to find out there’s a freaking bat flying around her head! No joke. First of all how in the freak did the bat get all the way up there considering the house is super big and the upstairs part is only on one end of the house. Oh my gosh can you imagine if that was me?  I would probably poop my pants. For real. Finally I escaped from the bathroom to go get my grandpa.  He couldn’t find the bat so I sure slept sound that night…o wait I woke up throughout the whole night hearing bats talking.  Great time. 

a. Spiders, moths, butterflies, dragonflies, nasty centipede craps, nasty crazy bugs I have no idea what they even are because they look so disturbing.  Pretty much everything.  Back home we used to always find these freakish weirdo bugs that were so scary.  It sucks when we see a bug like a spider and then we lose it and have to sleep knowing it’s still alive and in the room.  One thing about me is that I often have hallucinations when I sleep. So a lot of times I have my crazy hallucinations and freako dreams involving the bug and it getting me and being everywhere.  It’s the worst.  Also on a regular basis I mistake the designs on my pillow for crazy bugs while I’m sleeping.  So I wake up finding myself standing out of my bed searching for the bugs. I know these are just hallucinations but they are so real to me.  You try having a million bugs crawling all over your bed in the middle of the night and not be terrified of them. 

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


I just decided on something. If I was granted just one wish in this world this is what it would be: To know all the secrets of magic tricks. Best. Wish. Ever. I would get to see how Criss Angel does all his mind blowing acts, David Blaine's sick street magic, Houdini and his awesome escapes, David Copperfield and his crazy illusions...the list goes on and on. Oh man this would be amazing! That is my wish. How will this ever come true?
Well let me break it down Candace and Adrienne style...(this probly won't be funny to any of you since it's kinda an inside joke, sorry)

Step 1: Be born
Step 2: Get out of bed
Step 3: Go to college
Step 4: Believe in magic like me
Step 5: Become BFF's with all the magicians
Step 6: Learn how to hypnotise people
Step 7: Hypnotise each magician and make them show you all their tricks

Wow. I didn't realize it would be that easy. This wish may actually come true...But if you happen to have any magical connections... holla

Saturday, December 11, 2010


"It's not so much that I am missing you, it's more like I'm so lost without you...I'd give anything for you to just take me..."

I love music. I could not live without it.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Livin the life

Ok so I've gotten a little discouraged at this whole doing a blog thing. I really wish I were creative, witty, hilarious, interesting, something. But unfortunately I lack in these areas. So don't get your hopes up for this blog to be anything super great. It will basically just be me rambling about my dull life. So that being said...

Today was actually a great day. I was in the mood to go and see a movie. The problem was that I had no one to go with since everyone goes to college. The thought to go alone had never crossed my mind until I discovered that my best friend Adrienne used to go alone all the time. Sooo...I figured if she could do it so could I and it was time to head to the movies solo. It turned out to be awesome. What made it even better was that I had the whole theater to myself. That has always been a wish of mine. It was wonderful. I saw Morning Glory. It's the one with Rachel McAdams and Harrison Ford. I really liked it. Time well spent. I then headed to the mall and ended up buying myself a sweet Christmas present.

I am a pretty darn good time.

Call me.